Experts say toxic productivity is harmful to mental health. But why? Explore why toxic positivity is bad in this article.
For years I tried to force myself to be positive even when I was going through terrible times.
My most favourite toxic positivity thing to tell myself would be, “Hey, things could be worse!”
I never gave myself a chance to process my emotions, or make relevant changes to improve my situation.
In fact, every time I felt negative, I would feel guilty that I was being ungrateful.
I kept telling myself, “Everything is fine! Think positive!”
Then one time my best friend slipped into depression because of a major traumatic event in her life, and I was forcing her to be positive, just like I was forcing myself to be positive.
I told her all the things I used to tell myself, such as, “Cheer up! Being negative will only make things worse! There are worse things out there in the world! Everything happens for the best!”
My friends condition got worse and she had to go for therapy, and that’s when we both discovered that toxic positivity was making our mental health WORSE.
What Is Toxic Positivity?
Toxic positivity is when you believe that you have to constantly be positive no matter how bad the situation is, and no matter how sad you actually feel. Toxic positivity is about rejecting all negative feelings, and having room for “Positive vibes only.”
You are expected to mask your true feelings and only express cheerfulness, optimism and positive thoughts.
In the short term, toxic positivity may seem beneficial, but in the long term, toxic positivity only leads to more harm than good.
Signs of Toxic Positivity
When your parents, teachers or friends around you force you to be positive constantly, or force you to smile and be cheerful even in difficult situations, they are practicing toxic positivity.
They may say things such as:
- Think of people who have it worse than you!
- Stop being so negative!
- GOOD VIBES ONLY
- You’re overreacting! It’s not that bad!
- Always look at the bright side!
Why Toxic Positivity Is Bad
You might be wondering exactly why toxic positivity is bad – here are the answers:
- Toxic positivity tells a person to suppress their negative feelings.
- When a parent tells their child to stop crying and be positive always, this is a recipe for mental health issues in adulthood.
- Experts say toxic productivity is harmful to mental health.
- Negative feelings are meant to be digested and processed in a proper way so that we can move on healthily.
- Someone might have a genuine problem that they fail to work through because they think they have to be positive always. All emotions are valid.
- When we have a problem, we should focus on acknowledging the problem and patiently focus on finding a solution.
- Sharing negative experiences can help other people recover from others.
- Pretending to feel positive all the time can make you feel worse in the long run.
- Telling someone “It could have been worse” makes them feel invalidated and ashamed of the way they are feeling.
- Negative emotions and experiences are important because they can help us make the right decisions.
- No one should feel guilty for having negative emotions like anger, sadness, anxiety or frustration.
What is the Healthy Alternative to Toxic Positivity?
Replace toxic positivity with acceptance, support and validation. When you are feeling down, or when your friend is feeling down, attend to them with empathy.
Allow them to express their emotions, without interrupting them with toxic positivity. Acknowledge their feelings. Respond with, “You can tell me what you’re going through. I’m here to listen.”
Next, validate them. Respond with, “I know it’s hard. I’m here for you.” Life isn’t a smooth road. It is full of ups and downs.
Finally, support them by saying, “I know you can get through this. You’ve come this far. I believe in you.” Sit down and discuss with your friend solutions to the problem, so that they can get out of it.
The same steps apply for yourself, when you are feeling down. If you have no close friend to discuss with, or you cannot afford therapy, journaling is a great way to work through your emotions and find solutions.
Beyond Toxic Positivity
You have now learned that toxic positivity is the wrong approach to life. Now what?
Understand that as humans, we have both negative emotions and positive emotions. Stifling either of these is not healthy for our mind.
It’s okay to feel sad. Process your feelings. Feeling sad when bad things happen is natural.
Feel what you need to feel, and then you’ll be able to think clearer and focus on what you need to accomplish.
Thanks for reading this article, ‘Why Toxic Positivity is Bad.’ Feel free to share your experiences and thoughts on toxic positivity in the comments below!
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